41 Sexy Gag Gifts To Make Them Squirm

Not For Vegetarians: 50 Cocks That Won’t Disappoint Cookbook

One look at this book and your gift recipient will burst out laughing. It’s titled 50 Cocks That Won’t Disappoint: A Chicken Lover’s Cookbook, and the front cover has a naked stud with washboard abs standing in front of a strategically-placed rotisserie chicken.

Inside, there are dozens of recipes for everything from “Cock-A-Noodle-Doo” to “BBQ Cock Pie,” so it’ll be as delicious as it is delectable. Give this to a gal who likes her servings extra large.

Finders Keepers: I Licked It Naughty Card For Men

“I licked it, so it’s mine.” Make your man blush with this bawdy greeting card that doesn’t pull any punches! The boxers are drawn in a cartoon style, so it’s sexy without being R-rated, and it’s also printed on high-quality 300 gram paper for a luxurious feeling.

It’s proof that gag gifts don’t have to be cheap and flimsy just because they’re funny.

Better Than Rice Balls: Shunga Erotic Art Chocolate Body Paint

Designed with all of the exoticism of the east, this body paint looks like a calligraphy set with a round-topped bottle and brush. It’s even covered in erotic Japanese art prints from the 16th – 18th century.

When it’s time to swirl the paint on your lover’s body, however, you’ll realize that it has a very familiar aroma: chocolate! You can write, draw and compose epic sonnets right there on your lover’s body with edible and delectable results.

If You Have Extra Singles: Shinywear Men’s Sexy Mankini Costume

Gag gifts aren’t only for girls! With this costume, he’ll look like he just stepped off the glittery stage of Magic Mike. A black-and-white bow tie will wrap around his neck, and a single suspender will hug his bare chest as it leads down to a G-string thong.

He’s sure to collect some dollar bills when he dances for you in this getup.

To Set the Mood: Smells Like We’re Going to Have Sex Candle

With customizable scents that include lavender, honeysuckle, white sage, raspberry sangria and even banana nut bread, this candle will transform any room into a sweet-smelling spa. It’ll get you in the mood and keep the air fresh and clean afterwards.

Best of all, it’s printed with a straightforward message that’ll get your intentions across right away: “This Smells Like We’re Going to Have Sex.”

For Pleasant Transactions at the Till: Sex Checks: 60 Checks for Maintaining Balance in the Bedroom

Cute and clever, these “sex checks” are a great way to keep things lively in your love life. They come with suggestions, check boxes, fill-in-the-blank sections and more, so whether you’re a shy partner who needs prompting or an enthusiastic man-wh*re who’s always brimming with ideas, you can find a check to suit your needs.

Additionally, since there are IOUs aplenty, you can make sure that you never give more than you receive. Balancing your checkbook is important, after all.

To Stake Your Claim: Heart Arrow Low-Rise Cheeky Underwear

You take care of it, so why not put your name on it? This is a funny piece of women’s underwear that says “Property of” with a space for your name. A heart-shaped arrow adds a fun, flirty touch, and it can be ordered with multiple color schemes depending on whether you want a sexy black or a passionate red.

Additionally, since it’s made with a cotton and polyester blend, it’ll be comfortable and easy to wash in addition to being a funny gag gift.

The Ultimate Cure for Loneliness: Loftus International Blow Up Judy Doll

Does he weep into his pillow because he’s all alone? Are you starting to get concerned about his collection of big-breasted anime figurines? If so, it’s time to get him a real, genuine companion: Judy.

She’s a life-sized doll with beautiful blonde hair and proportions to die for, and she’ll be more than happy to keep your friend company on lonely nights. Just make sure that he has an air pump.

To Enhance Your Roleplay: Cleaning Lady Cosplay Costume Dress-Up Set

Everyone has a French maid fantasy, but the costumes can get expensive. A nice alternative is this “cleaning lady cosplay set” that will evoke the same lust but for only a fraction of the price. It includes an apron, headband and garter set with black-and-white lace embellishments, and it even throws in a feather duster to complete the look.

Your naughty nighttime fantasies will definitely come to life with accessories like these.

A Coupon That You Don’t Even Have to Cut: Bl*wjob Token With Pouch

Imagine his face when he pulls this out of the pouch! It’s a small, palm-sized keepsake that says “Bl*wjob Token” with a surrounding flutter of hearts. Despite its humor, it’s a real, weighty piece of metal; you’ll get your money’s worth in terms of quality.

If he’s fortunate, this is a token that’ll last him a long, long time.

For the Future Bride: Reversible Throw Pillow Case Cover

If she’s getting married, this pillowcase will make a hilarious gift during a bachelorette party. One side says “Tonight (Woohoo!)” while the flip side says “Not Tonight (Sorry).” She’ll be able to let her husband know what’s on the agenda without having to feign any headaches or put on any lingerie, and as we all know, that kind of efficiency is a must-have in any marriage!

A Little Spice for Your Love Life: Truth or Dare for Couples Game

What’s your biggest turn-off? What’s your favorite toy in the bedroom? How do you feel about bondage? These are just a few of the questions that you’ll find in this sexy, suggestive game called Truth or Dare for Couples.

If you don’t want to bare your soul, you can also attempt dares like “leave a sexy voicemail for your partner” or “seduce your partner without touching them.” No matter what you choose, you’re sure to have a memorable evening with your SO.

For Wiggling and Jiggling: Reusable Flower Silicone Bra Pasties

You’ve bought her entire drawers of lingerie. It’s time for something new, and it’s time for that something to swing. These “pasties” are designed to cup the breasts like a bra, but there’s very little fabric to them, and they’re also shaped like flowers, hearts, bouquets and crystals.

Some even include hanging tassels! Get her red heart pasties for Valentine’s Day or white rose pasties for a bachelorette party or wedding night. You could even buy her an entire set for special occasions of all types.

For the Meme Lover: Custom Men’s Print Boxer Briefs Underwear

If he’s the type to laugh at galaxy prints of cats surfing through space on the backs of laser-eyed unicorns, he’ll love these boxers. They have the same over-the-top sense of humor, and they can be customized in multiple ways to really add that je ne sais quoi factor.

Put your face in a repeating pattern over garish colors; add some hearts, lips or text jokes. The possibilities are both endless and hilarious!

To Express Your Appreciation: Thanks for All the Orgasms Silver Key Chain

Suitable for boyfriends and girlfriends alike, this key chain is sure to get a guffaw. It says “Thanks For All the Orgasms” with a small heart tacked on the end, so it’s a low-key, gender-neutral kind of present for any last-minute occasion.

Additionally, it’s made with durable, high-quality stainless steel that’ll last for years, and it also comes with a polished and hypoallergenic finish that won’t trigger any allergies or sensitivities.

Your gift recipient will only get the good kind of shivers.

If She’s a Feisty Lass: Kilty Pleasures 16-Month Wall Calendar

If she can’t make it through an episode of Outlander without sighing wistfully, this is the calendar to make all of her sexy Scottish dreams come true. Each month has gorgeous hunks in varying states of undress, and they deliver amazingly cheesy lines like “Like my kilt? Wait ’til you see my bagpipe.

” They’ll make wonderfully naughty companions for a woman who likes man-bushes just as much as the bushes of the Scottish Highlands.

To Climb on Santa’s Lap: Sexy Men’s Christmas Santa Hat G-String

Perfect for the holidays, this G-string will definitely put him on the naughty list this Christmas. It’s shaped like a Santa hat right down to the white fuzz! For extra cheekiness, it’s designed in a way that will help him rise to the occasion and create a realistically “upright” hat.

Make your list and check it twice; Santa Claus has a lot of coming to do in this town.

When She Flies a Rainbow Flag: Lickalottapus Coffee Mug

Cute and colorful, this gift was specifically designed for ladies who like other ladies. It’s a smooth and polished coffee mug made of white ceramic, and its print is an adorable little dinosaur identified as a Lickalottapus.

A few cartoon hearts match the pink of its tongue as it pokes out. It’s safe for both the dishwasher and the microwave. If you want a sweet, simple present that’s LGBT friendly, get her one that’ll make her giggle.

A Classic Gift: Pink Plush Fuzzy Handcuffs

Fuzzy handcuffs are the kind of thing that most couples wouldn’t buy for themselves, but it’s just cliche enough to be a hilarious gag gift for bachelor or bachelorette parties. You can order them in pink, black, purple or red, and they come with a tiny silver key to match their chains.

They aren’t quite strong to withstand rigorous play, but if you’re just looking for a funny, timeless present to make your BFF shriek with laughter, handcuffs are the way to go!

When You’re Happy and You Know It: Happy Man Wine Stopper

Have you opened a bottle of wine that you can’t quite finish? You’ll need a wine stopper to keep it fresh. This little guy is the perfect size and shape to fit inside the inner rim of a bottle, and he’s made with a high-quality, tightly-sealed resin that will stop leaks from getting out and oxygen from getting in.

The only catch is that he’s buck naked, and the actual wine stopper is a very “happy” place below the belt. You can also turn him around to admire his sweet cheeks as he guards your drink.

If They Have a Sweet Tooth: Three-Pack BJ Blast Oral Sex Candy

Appropriately named “BJ Blast,” this candy will provide a punch to the giver and the receiver. It’s basically a grown-up version of Pop Rocks, and it’ll dissolve in the mouth with a sweet, zesty feeling that will add all kinds of fireworks to fun times in the bedroom.

There are three flavors in this multi-pack, including cherry, strawberry and green apple, but you can buy others as well. Collect them all like Pokemon and have a blast!

To Unleash the Beast Within: Women’s Chest Hair Funny One Piece Swimsuit

This is one of those gifts that’s equal parts horrible and hilarious. On one hand, it depicts a hairy chest that would put King Kong to shame, so it’ll look absolutely gag-worthy on a buxom blonde. On the other hand, it is a sexy one piece, so you’ll get to enjoy nice views of that bosom whenever she wears it.

Are you strong enough to buy this particular gag gift for your girlfriend?

For Solitary Pleasures: BlissBombz Bath Bombs for Adults

There’s nothing like a relaxing soak in the tub after a long, hard day, and this bath bomb will let her enjoy it to the fullest. Not only is it made with salts and minerals to leave her with fresh, silky smooth skin, but once it fizzes down in the water, it’ll reveal a sexy surprise waiting in the center! Your girlfriend will step out of that tub feeling like a million bucks.

Southern Charm: PipeDream Edible Crotchless Underwear Peach Flavor

Edible underwear comes in all shapes and sizes, but PipeDream made one of the originals, and it’s still a hit product today. It’s basically a sweet gummy treat in the shape of a lady’s underthings but without a crotch and with a non-edible string to hold it all in place.

Best of all, it’s peach flavored, so you can take your girl to Georgia without even leaving the bedroom.

To Keep Her Company: Grow a Boyfriend Novelty Item

“If you can’t get a date, then grow the perfect mate!” Such is the tagline of Grow a Boyfriend, a funny little sponge that’s been cut into the shape of a guy. Just put him in water and watch him expand up to six times his original size.

He won’t turn into Robert Pattinson, but he’ll be better than the crappy exes that your friend usually deals with.

A Grown-Up Take on a Childhood Pastime: Hot Hunks Dot To Dot Coloring Book

Coloring books have long been known for their therapeutic benefits, and this “Hot Hunks” book will be especially soothing for the single gal. Not only will she be able to revel in the chiseled jaws and rock-hard abs of her fantasy heroes, but she’ll actually get to draw, color and shade them in herself! It’s like Build-A-Bear if everyone looked like Fabio.

She won’t be able to resist.

When She’s a Down-Home Kind of Girl: This Is My Sexy Lingerie Sassy Sleep Shirt

This is a sexy gift for a woman who doesn’t like sexy gifts. It’s a plain black t-shirt with purple text that says “This Is My Sexy Lingerie,” and it’ll be perfect for the kind of gal who likes cuddling on the couch with bare legs and messy ponytails.

To add to the naughtiness, pair it with a pair of underwear. It’ll be funny but also functional in terms of everyday life.

For Couples: Matching Couple Pillow Shams

This two-piece pillowcase set will be the perfect housewarming present for couples who are just starting to live together. As they christen various beds, floors, couches and countertops, they’ll be able to toss the pillows on the spots that they’ve blessed with their unions.

One says “We Had Sex Here” and the other adds “And Here.” They’re available in sizes that range from 12 x 12 inches to 24 x 24 inches, so depending on the roominess of their living quarters, you can shop accordingly.

To Keep Things Tidy: Bl*wjob Bib

If she’s a messy eater, consider getting her this “bl*wjob bib” for the next time that she’s going to town. It’s exactly what it sounds like, and that’s why it’s so funny. It’s completely unpretentious.

It’s just a grown-up bib for grown-up activities. You could even reclaim it for yourself when it’s time to return the favor with oral sex; it’ll work just as well for girl parts as guy parts.

When You Get Down Like Barnyard Animals: Rooster and Cat Couple’s Coffee Mugs

“I love your rooster.” “I love your cat.” These are perfectly innocent statements, but when you put them together along with black-and-white art prints on ceramic coffee mugs, the joke becomes apparent.

It’ll be a great gift for someone who likes raunchy humor that doesn’t get too explicit. You could also make it a couple’s gift for close friends who are dating, marrying or moving in together.

Fifty Shades of Merlot: Fairly Odd Novelties Wine Glass Lanyard Set

Everyone gets thirsty, even people who are into whips and chains. This funny gift from Fairly Odd Novelties combines both things into one with a “wine glass lanyard” set. It has all of the black leather straps that you’d expect from a BDSM dungeon, but it’s actually a wine glass holder that goes around the neck.

You can use it for genuine drinking or funny roleplaying. It’s a very versatile gag gift, and more than anything else, it’s memorable.

Because Reading is Important: Position of the Day Paperback

Have you lost the spark in your relationship? Or maybe you’re just an enthusiastic procreater who’s always looking for new ideas. The good news is that you don’t need the Kama Sutra to get a little inspiration; simply flip open Position of the Day: Sex Every Day in Every Way.

Like its title suggests, it has 365 different sex positions for every day of the year, so it’s a gift that will keep on giving long after it’s been unwrapped.

For a Whole Load of Fun: Sperm Confetti Two-Pack

Shaped just like the little swimmers that created you, this sperm confetti is sure to be a hit at your next sex party. Pop it in a cannon; throw it by the fistful; let it rain over a doorway. The other person won’t know what’s hit them until they look closer and realize the truth.

For bonus points, your order will come with two 15-gram bags of confetti, so you’ll have a full 30 grams to launch at unsuspecting partygoers.

For the Michael Scott Fan: The Twisted Party Game

If you like Cards Against Humanity, this game has a very similar format, but all of the prompts and answers are designed for maximum raunchiness. It’s sure to be a hit during date nights, girl’s nights, wedding parties and any other occasion where outrageous humor is welcome.

“On our wedding night, my wife said to me…” “If my vibrator could talk, it would probably say…” The right combination of cards will go down in infamy!

A Gift From a Helpful Elf: 24-Day Sex Advent Calendar

Count down to Christmas with this hilarious sex-themed advent calendar. It’s the kind of gift that’s actually a gift for two since you and your partner will enjoy the naughty commands on each day.

There are 24 in total, so you’ll have a lovely, lusty December as you make your way through almost an entire month’s worth of ideas. You’ll get a little dirty this holiday season, but it’ll be in the very best of ways.

For Loving Acts of Hygiene: Love Mop Premium Cotton Sex Towel

Made with a soft, ultra-absorbent cotton, this towel could be used for many different things, but it has a special meaning for couples. You see, it’s been designated as a “love mop” complete with a picture of a red heart over a black-and-white bucket.

Your gift recipient will know exactly what it’s for, and even though they might laugh and protest after unwrapping it, it’s sure to wind up in their bedside drawer later. It’s just too convenient not to use.

When She Knows What She Likes: I Heart Cocktails Women’s Knee High Socks

These knee-high socks look innocent enough from a distance. They say “I (Heart) Cocktails” in descending text along the calves, and there are big red hearts to add some style to the words. It’s only when you put them on that you realize the “tails” part of “cocktails” is much smaller and more easily missed than the rest, especially if you’re wearing high tops or boots.

Whoops!

For Mr. Grey: Your Girlfriend, My Girlfriend Men’s Funny BDSM Shirt

Another great gift for folks who like a bit of pain with their pleasure, this t-shirt depicts two women. One is a normal, bathroom-style stick figure of the female form, and the other is a highly detailed silhouette of a kneeling woman bound with rope.

The first says “Your Girlfriend,” and the second says “My Girlfriend.” If you’re part of a kinky relationship, this shirt will let your freak flag fly.

To Make Her Purr: Kitty Carpet Reusable Downstairs Toupee

Designed for “Mrs. Downstairs,” this fuzzy piece of cloth will completely cover the essentials, but it isn’t meant for subtlety. Instead, the bright colors and eye-catching designs will draw attention to your kitty cat, but that’s exactly why the fuzz is shaped like red hearts, blue trees, pink stars and green four-leaf clovers.

Are you feeling lucky?

Would You Like to Play a Game: Sex Dice

If things are getting boring in the bedroom, sex dice can bring some energy and excitement again. Some are printed with body parts like “lips” and “neck” while others have commands like “lick,” “suck,” “kiss” and “blow.

” There are also some 12-sided dice with pictures of various positions that you can both mock and mimic. Use them for fun; use them for real; use them as a hilarious gift at a wedding party. Sex dice are always a hit!