60th Birthday Gag Gift Ideas That Don’t Pull Any Punches

For the Grandma Who Still Knows How to Party: 59 + One Middle Finger Stemless Wine Glass

If she doesn’t look a day over 59, she’ll appreciate this novelty wine glass. It says “I Am 59 + (Middle Finger),” so with every sip of red, she’ll tell the world how she really feels about her age.

As a bonus, the glass can hold a good 15 ounces, so grandma will be able to get nice and tipsy as she flips the bird to everyone.

Because Picasso Always Took His Time: 60 Years to Create This Masterpiece T-Shirt

Maybe he doesn’t care about getting old. Maybe she’s all about positive psychology and living your best life. Either way, if you want to give a little confidence to someone that you care about, consider this t-shirt that says “It Took Me 60 Years to Create This Masterpiece.

” It’ll be a fun fashion statement for people who are 60 years old and proud of it!

To Validate the Choices That They Were Going to Make Anyway: Decision Spinner

It can be hard to make decisions when you’re old, but with this bright, colorful decision spinner, you can relieve some of the burden on your elderly friends and relatives. Options include “take a nap, “sit in recliner” and “drive really slow.

” For really tough decisions, there’s also “be grouchy.”

For Your Favorite Old Lady: Friendship Stainless Steel Wine Tumbler

“We’ll be friends until we’re old and senile, then we’ll be new best friends.” These glittery words are both hilarious and heartfelt, so if you’re looking for the perfect gift for a mom, aunt, grandma or BFF, this wine tumbler can be a nice addition to your brunches and garden parties.

It even comes in multiple colors so that you can pick her favorite. She’ll laugh, but she’ll also be touched at your thoughtfulness.

A Funny Take on Aging: People My Age T-Shirt

“I Can’t Believe How Old People My Age Are.” If you know someone who would cackle at this t-shirt, you’ve just found the perfect 60th birthday present. The shirt is available in both men’s and women’s fits, and it can be ordered in multiple colors depending on their style preferences.

They’re sure to get a kick out of it.

To Do Less Laundry This Winter: Snittens: The Original Snot Mittens

Tissues are a young man’s game. When you get older, you wipe your runny joke on any sleeves, gloves or grandkids that happen to be around, and you don’t care who sees. The good news is that you can curb this habit in your parent or spouse when you give them Snittens: The Original Snot Mittens.

They’re just as soft and fuzzy as real mittens, but they’re made to be extra absorbent for all of winter’s fluids.

To Celebrate the Sixth Decade: The 60th Birthday Game

Designed specifically for 60 year olds, this card game will be a hoot at parties, family reunions and other special occasions. It has a simple question-and-answer format, but everything is centered around the big 6-0.

Which celebrity threw a crazy 60th birthday party? What fun facts have been printed about 60 year olds in Forbes? This game will teach you some trivia!

When They’ve Been 40 for the Past 20 Years: I’m Not 60 Coffee Mug

Pretty in pink, this coffee mug is just as sweet as the cake that’s been printed on the side. It also brags, “I’m Not 60. I’m 25 With 35 Years Of Experience.” It’ll be a funny, non-offensive way to make someone laugh as they approach their 60th birthday, and since the mug is made with an oversized handle design, it’ll be convenient for senior use as well.

Blaze It: Dog Years 60th Birthday Unisex T-Shirt

Ideal for the man half of man’s best friend, this paw-printed shirt says “In Dog Years I Am 420.” That’s 60 x 7, so not only is it funny, but it’s mathematically accurate! It can also serve as a sly tip of the hat to pot smokers if grandpa likes to light up.

.. for his medical condition, of course.

For the Couch Potato: Funny Wooden Exercise Block

Help them get off the couch with this wooden exercise block. The instructions are printed right on the block, and all that they have to do is place it on the floor and walk a circle around it. When they’ve achieved this amazing feat of agility and endurance despite their advanced age, they can truthfully brag to their friends that they walked around the block.

To Save Everyone Some Trouble: Crap I’ll Forget Funny Notebook Gift for Seniors

Are you the first line of defense for absent-minded grandparents? Do they call you every time that they forget their passwords, grocery lists, doctor’s appointments and parking spots? Consider rerouting their calls to this notepad instead.

Its cover says “Crap I’ll Forget Unless I Write It Down,” so it’s a funny birthday gift, but it’s also filled with 120 blank pages that can be used for all of life’s reminders. They can get into the habit of jotting things down instead of forgetting them over and over again.

Big Wisdom in a Small Package: Old Enough To Do Anything I Want Magnet

“Finally Old Enough to Do Anything I Want. Too Tired to Actually Do It.” It’s a universal lament of older folks that youth is wasted on the young, and with this refrigerator magnet, they can laugh at the irony every time that they hang up a new schedule, reminder or calendar.

You don’t make it to 60 without having a sense of humor at life’s absurdities.

To Pop, Fizz, Whirl, Bang and Splash: Vintage Candy Company 60th Birthday Retro Candy Box

Packed with crinkly, colorful treats, this vintage candy box will take them right back to their childhood. They’ll be able to pop bubblegum and lick sugar dust off their fingers just like they did in the 1950s and 1960s.

The snacks even come in a decorative box with a retro carnival font that says “Happy 60th Birthday,” so they’ll know that you went all out for their special day. If you play your cards right, you might get offered some snacks, too.

For Queens, Divas and Other Fabulous People: “D*mn, I Make 60 Look Good” T-shirt

She isn’t old. She’s just aging like a fine, full-bodied Merlot. If she would agree with this sentiment, give her a fun, flirty t-shirt that says “D*mn, I Make 60 Look Good!” with a lipstick print accentuating the words.

She can tease the gentlemen at her book club just like she teased the boys at the drive-in movies when Elvis was alive.

When He’s as Handsome as Ever: Fox-Shaped Stainless Steel Cuff Links for Men

These stainless steel cuff links will look nice and sharp on any man’s suit. They’re made with gleaming, high-quality metal components that won’t fade or rust, and they’re hypoallergenic as to not trigger any allergies.

Best of all, they’re shaped like foxes, so they’ll make an on-point gift for the silver fox in your life. He can represent himself with an animal motif that matches his sleek, sexy hair.

When They Can Still Drink You Under the Table: 60 Years Insulated Beer Sleeves

This is a gift for the old folks who have perfected their alcohol tolerance to the point where their livers just laugh at every new attempt to poison them. Insulated beer sleeves are always welcome at a cookout, and these are printed with the text “60 Years and Countless Beers.

” They’ll definitely get a tip of the beer can in your direction if you give them as a 60th birthday gift.

For Green Thumbs: You’re Never Too Old to Play in The Dirt Key Chain

Gardeners take a lot of pride in their work, and they rarely let their age stop them from doing what needs to be done. The weeds don’t care how old you are! If you’re friendly with someone who spends most of their time buried in mulch, get them this stainless steel key chain that “You’re Never Too Old to Play in The Dirt” with a dangling little spade.

If They Didn’t See It Coming: Inside Every 60 Year Old Coffee Mug

“Inside Every 60 Year Old… is a 30 Year Old Wondering What the Hell Happened!” This is the kind of joke that every senior citizen can relate to, so whether you’re shopping for a friend, relative, colleague or someone else entirely, they should enjoy this coffee mug.

They don’t even have to use it. It’s so funny that it can serve as a novelty item in their home or office.

All Original Parts Included: 60th Birthday T-Shirt Vintage Old Banger

Because when you get older, spare tires are more than just a thing in your trunk! This novelty tee is sure to get a laugh from dads, uncles, grandpas and other menfolk who are dealing with gravity’s pull on their gut.

It has a picture of an old-fashioned automobile with text that talks about the “body work” needed on an “old banger.” It also mentions 60 years, which makes it a perfect 60th birthday present.

To Warn the World About Your Father-in-Law: Over the Hill Hat for Men

If he doesn’t mind being a crotchety old man, this is the baseball cap that will complain about bad knees and yell at kids to get off his lawn. It says “Over the Hill” in bright, unmistakable letters, and it’s made of pure cotton that won’t fray even if he wears it all of the time.

The gift also comes with an “Over the Hill” birthday sash for grumpy birthday boys.

To Help Them Hear All of Those Old Age Jokes: Over the Hill Hearing Enhancer

This isn’t a real hearing aid, so don’t expect it to do anything for someone who is genuinely hard of hearing. If you just want to laugh at your gramps, however, this is the perfect gift for someone who is always griping “What? What?” during a conversation.

Tell him that instead of reaching for the remote, he can just use his funnel-shaped hearing enhancer to improve his audio reception!

The Funniest Education Ever: What You Don’t Know About Turning 60 Paperback

When’s the best time for a 60-year-old? About 30 years ago. What’s a senior screwdriver? An orange juice and a Metamucil. What You Don’t Know About Turning 60: A Funny Birthday Quiz is a laugh-out-loud exploration of the joys, challenges and weird bathroom situations that are a part of getting older.

If you know someone who can laugh at themselves, this is the birthday gift for them.

To Sweeten the Breath and Kick-Start the Brain: Memory Mints for Senior Moments

Most old people have had at least one “senior moment” where their thoughts trail off into nothingness. These mints won’t actually prevent forgetfulness, but they might get a chuckle or two! Your gift recipient will think of you every time that they reach for one, and when the treats are all gone, the tin can be used for other mints, gums, candies and pills.

For June Cleaver: Oh F*ckity F*ck Lined Notebook

Does she still remember the days of bouffants and pearl necklaces? If so, she’ll laugh at this notebook that’s emblazoned with an old-school housewife reacting in horror to her birthday. Inside, there are lined pages for things like couponing and list keeping; outside, the housewife is having a moment of existential crisis.

“Sixty. Oh F*ckity F*ck!” It doesn’t get more succinct than that.

For Cranky Old Folks: Lifetime Member of The Piss and Moan Club Novelty Sign

This could be an affectionate gift for the uncle who always complains that you aren’t grilling the steaks correctly. It could also be a pointed, passive-aggressive gift for a cubicle mate who really needs to retire already.

It’s an aluminum sign with rounded edges and mounting holes for both indoor and outdoor use, so it offers maximum coverage.

Not Your Mother’s Scented Candle: 60 Glam Luxury Scented Soy Candle

Candles are always a pleasant gift, but this one has a tart twist. It says “60: Too Glam to Give a D*mn” right there on the front! It will smell like citrus, spice and sandalwood when it burns, and its curving white letters will look like an affirming message on a floral glass holder.

Beneath the beauty, however, it’s a candle with attitude.

Making Your Own Medicine: Senior Citizen Pharmacy Set

One of the hardest parts of getting old is having your doctor on speed dial for all of life’s aches and pains. With this pharmacy set, however, your loved one can solve some common health problems at home.

Items include “W-D Oldie” cream, “Gray Be Gone” hair dye and “Over the Hill Anti-Aging Soap.” Whether they’re struggling with wrinkles or creaking joints, this pharmacy set is just what the doctor ordered.

To Give Her the Royal Treatment: “The Queen Is 60” Makeup Bag

Does she put Queen Elizabeth to shame? Does she make Miranda Priestly look like a fun, cuddly grandmother? If she’s the matriarch of the family and doesn’t care who knows it, you can celebrate her royal attitude with this small, well-decorated purse.

It says “The Queen is 60” with a crown resting atop the “Q,” and even though it’s advertised as a makeup bag, it can easily be used for keys, money or medication.

For the Chef Who Refuses to Slow Down: 60 and Awesome Apron

Age is just a number when there are pan-seared, lemon-spritzed scallops to make. If they’re spending just as much time in the kitchen at 60 as they did when they were 20, they should enjoy this comfortable but good-humored apron.

It says “This Is What 60 and Awesome Looks Like” in big, blocky letters, so no one will miss the message as they simmer and saute.

For a Good Time on the Green: Exploding Golf Balls

If he’s been spending a lot of time on the golf course in preparation for an early retirement, you can get him good with these exploding golf balls. They look just like the real thing, but when they’re hit at full power with a nine iron, they’ll explode into clouds of dust.

Make him laugh like crazy at a 60th birthday golf outing when the help of these prankster balls!

So They Can Wipe Away Their Worries: Holy Sh*t 60th Birthday Toilet Paper

Everybody poops, but not everybody poops with aplomb. This novelty toilet paper has a wide-eyed poop emoji saying, “Holy S*it, You’re 60!” as he stares in wonder at the unbelievably old person in front of him.

It’ll be a great gift for seniors with a sense of humor, and it might even get used if they unexpectedly run out of the real thing.

For Your Favorite Silver-Haired Criminal: Against the Law 60th Birthday Coffee Mug

Perfect for cops, sheriffs, marshals and other folks in law enforcement, this novelty mug will gently poke fun at their age even as it sends a powerful message. The text declares, “It Should Be Against the Law to Look This Good at 60” with a sheriff’s star on top.

Whether they’re already retired or a few years away from hanging up their badge, they should get a chuckle from this gift.

To Host an Unforgettable Party: Old as Sh*t Birthday Banner

You can’t let them ring in 60 years without throwing them a party, and with this birthday banner, you’ll set the tone right off the bat: It says “Old As Sh*t” in big, glittering letters that are individually spaced on a hanging ribbon.

It should get a nice belly laugh from older folks who don’t mind their loved ones pointing out the obvious.

When Her Milkshake Still Brings the Boys to the Yard: Too Sexy to be 60 Socks

Doris Day has nothing on her. She’s fit and fabulous, and it doesn’t matter one bit that she’s 60 years old. Does this sound like a strong, confident woman that you know? Give her a pair of “I’m Too Sexy to be 60” socks and let her enjoy their cozy, comfortable warmth even as she gets a boost of self-esteem from their words.

Who knows? They might even ignite a little passion between her and grandpa in the bedroom.

When She Loves Cats More Than People: Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure

Immortalize Mr. Tibbles with this crazy cat lady action figure. The woman is dressed in a robe and surrounded by felines, and she’s staring at the world with wild eyes that have seen too many boxes of litter.

She’ll be a delightful addition to an old lady’s mantle. Just make sure that Mr. Tibbles doesn’t swipe it off.

Because Bikers Never Die: Turning Chrome T-Shirt

You’re never too old to feel the wind in your hair as you rev down the highway on a Harley-Davidson. When you reach 60, however, that hair might be turning a bit monochrome! This fun novelty tee says “I’m Not Going Gray, I’m Turning Chrome” with a picture of a motorcycle on it.

If you know any bikers who still have the spirit even though they’re 60, this is the gift for them.

Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay: Old Guys Rule Novelty Fishing Patches

It isn’t easy to sit in a fishing boat all day and talk smack with your fellow geriatrics. To celebrate these brave accomplishments by your loved one, get him this three pack of “Old Guys Rule” fishing patches.

They can be attached to everything from jackets to tackle boxes, and they’ll be with him every step of the way as he searches for the next big flounder.

To Stop That Trip Down Memory Lane: Good Old Days My A** Paperback

If you know a senior citizen who is always complaining about smartphones and newfangled credit card scanners, give them Good Old Days My A**: 665 Funny History Facts And Terrifying Truths about Yesteryear.

It will remind them about all of the gross, funny, weird and awkward things that people had to deal with in the 18th and 19th centuries, and it will teach them to be appreciative of living in the modern world that we have now.

To Add a Little Spice to Their Life: Reading Grandpa on Toilet Magnetic Salt and Pepper Shakers

This present will be a hit with grandpas who sit on the commode for ages and grandmas who have endured their habits for years. It’s cute and charming, but it’s still useful. The salt and pepper shakers are fully functional dinner accessories, and they’re made of a durable ceramic that will last for years.

This is a gift that will last.

To Make Them Remember College Algebra: Math Equation 60th Birthday Key Chain Gift

If they look 28, feel 20 and act 12, that makes them 60! It’s a math equation that every senior can appreciate, and now it’s engraved on a metal key chain that they can carry with them everywhere. It even comes nestled in a stylish black box for optimal gift wrapping.

It’ll be a delightful gift for both men and women who are approaching this milestone birthday.

In the Immortal Words of Eric Cartman: 60 Reasons to Do What I Want Women’s T-Shirt

“I Have 60 Reasons to Do What I Want.” It’s a simple, straightforward message, and that’s why it’s so awesome. She’s 60 years old! She doesn’t have to justify her decisions to anyone. Let her strut her stuff as she enjoys her twilight years while doing absolutely anything that she wants to do.

For Music Lovers With Crappy Furniture: Colorful Retro Vinyl Record Coasters

These coasters are shaped just like vinyl records from the ’70s and ’80s, so they’ll make great gifts for older people who were living large at the time. However, there’s a catch: They make terrible coasters.

They have record holes in the middle, so they won’t stop moisture from reaching tables and countertops. You won’t want to give these to someone with expensive furniture, but otherwise, they can be a great prank.

To Flip the Script: OK Millennial Coffee Mug

If you know a senior who is hip to social media memes like “OK Boomer,” they should enjoy this coffee mug that turns it around with “OK Millennial.” It’ll be great for homes, offices, libraries and any other place where they mingle with a younger crowd.

You’re only as old as your coffee mug says you are!

To Laugh in the Face of the Grim Reaper: I Aint Dead Yet Motherf**kers T-Shirt

Reaching 60 years old is a genuine achievement, and you can celebrate it with this “I Aint Dead Yet Motherf**kers” t-shirt. It’s funny, but it’s also triumphant, and it’ll have even more meaning for someone who has survived a lot of hardship.

The God of Death hasn’t taken them yet, and he’s going to have to fight them tooth and nail when it’s actually time. Here’s to another 60 years!