Funny 30th Birthday Gift Ideas To Make Them Hate You

For the Alcoholic With Attitude: 29 + One Middle Finger Craft Beer Glass

Enjoy a nice, frosty glass of Shut the H*ll Up with this craft beer mug that doesn’t take any lip about birthdays. It’s printed with the text “I Am 29 + (Middle Finger)” in a bold white font on thick, insulted glass.

The words can be hard to see when the glass is empty, but once it’s brimming with the sweet golden nectar of Budweiser, everyone will know exactly how the drinker feels about their age.

For the Self-Confident Woman: 30th Birthday Unicorn Coffee Mug

Perfect for wives, sisters, girlfriends and BFFs, this unicorn mug will celebrate her age instead of treating it like a dirty little secret. What’s wrong with turning 30 when you’re fabulous no matter what? Other women might be drab, plain-colored horses, but she is a magnificent rainbow unicorn throwing off sparkles as she does a pole dance.

If this is the kind of energy that she brings to her everyday life, she’s sure to appreciate a coffee mug that expresses it.

To Express Their True Feelings About Getting Older: So Happy I’m Thirty Birthday Balloons

Styled in light, shimmering colors, these birthday balloons spell out “So Happy I’m Thirty.” They’re a whopping 16 inches tall, and they can be displayed at any party or event to celebrate a 30th birthday.

There’s just one catch: Only the first letters are in white. The rest are in rose gold. These contrasting colors send a slightly different message to the world: S**t!

For the Bathroom Hog: Toilet Timer

Spending too long in the bathroom is a classic sign of aging, but if you have things to do and people to see, you can’t let them stay on the commode forever. Give them a “toilet timer” to speed things up.

It’s a legitimate timer with an hourglass-inspired design, but instead of sands falling through a tube, it’s sands dropping from a human bottom into a toilet!

To Start a Fun Guessing Game: I Am 10,958 Days Old T-Shirt

If they like their t-shirts to get second glances on the street, this is a fashion statement that they’ll adore. It says, “It’s My Birthday. I Am 10,958 Days Old. You Figure It Out!” The number of days is equal to 30 years, but unless the other person has a calculator on hand, it will take some addition and subtraction to figure it out.

There’s also the matter of leap year days, so even if they’re a mathlete who can compute figures on the spot, it might take a second guess to get it right!

An Amoosing Gift: Holy Cow! Look Who Is 30 Yard Decorations

Make them shriek with laughter when they get home and see that you’ve taken over their yard for their birthday. There are ten cow placards that attach to short stakes, and they’re meant to be arranged around a larger, more central sign that says “Holy Cow! Look Who Is 30.

” It’ll be a silly, light-hearted way to ring in the big day, and since the placards are waterproof, they’ll be ready to go in either rain or shine.

To Delight Your Favorite Nerd: Level 30 Unlocked 30th Birthday T-Shirt

Is he rebuilding an original console from the 1980s? Does she play League of Legends as fiercely as any man? If they’re a video game nerd and proud of it, they’ll love this “Level 30 Unlocked” t-shirt.

Not only is it printed with a retro graffiti design that will bring back the glory days of Nintendo and Sega, but it’s also available in multiple colors and fits, so you can match your gift to their unique style.

Organization With a Twist: “Well Look at You” 30th Birthday Joke Notebook

Bordered by flowers and decorated with thick, curving letters, this journal looks like any other stylishly feminine notebook. Take a closer look, however, and you’ll laugh out loud at its text: “Well Look at You Turning Thirty and S***.

” Not only will it be a funny gift for 30 year olds, but it’ll also serve as a useful tool for writers, artists, students, coupon cutters and anyone else who could use a notebook for daily planning and doodling.

For a Fun Girl’s Night: Chic 30th Birthday Wine Bottle Label Stickers

“Sip Sip Hooray.” “Cheers to 30 Years.” “30: Age Improves With Wine.” If these are the kind of sentiments that can kick off a great party at your place, you’ll want these wine bottle labels to go with your birthday bash.

Not only are they made with stylish, glittery colors, but they’re easy to peel off the paper and stick to any standard-size liquor bottle. Get tipsy with your bestie as you celebrate three decades of love, friendship, happiness and good times!

For Your BFF: Best Friends Adult Coloring Book

Coloring books are a great way to relieve stress, and with this “best friends” version, she’ll get to feel your love with every page. The prints include flowers, animals, mandalas and other finely-detailed images meant for adult artists, and the quotes range from funny to heartwarming.

If she’s feeling sentimental, she might be touched by “best friends hear you even when you’re quiet.” If she’s in a goofy mood, she can scribble on “I hope we grow old together, but I hope your boobs sag first.

“

To Soothe the Overworked and Underpaid: F**k It! Button

While not meant specifically for 30 year olds, this present can help them relieve some of the stresses and frustrations that they’ve undoubtedly faced in the past two decades. It’s exactly what it sounds like: a gigantic red button that says “F**k It.

” When they slam down their fist, the button will make noises and emit curses. It’ll fit right into a soul-sucking office environment, or it can be used in the kitchen, bedroom or home library whenever life is being extra difficult.

To Get His Heart Pumping: Epic Adventure Tours From Virgin Experiences

Anyone can take a flying lesson, but it’s another class of man that climbs into the front seat of a vintage 1941 biplane.

With Virgin experience gifts, you can treat him to all kinds of awesome, edge-of-your seat thrills, including piloting, sailing, skydiving, white-water rafting and race car driving. Some of the experiences are everyday bucket list items like scuba diving or going on a hot air balloon ride, but others are tailored to specific interests. If he’s a history buff who would love World War II planes or a surfer who would kill to ride some extreme waves, see what virgin has to offer.

Pour One Out for the Past: Straight Outta My Twenties T-Shirt

Available in multiple cuts, colors and sizes, this “Straight Outta My Twenties” tee will make a great birthday gift for both men and women. You can customize your order depending on the style options that you think will best suit their wardrobe, but regardless of what you choose, all of the shirts are pre-shrunk and washer-safe.

They’ll be able to toss on their tee and rep their generation wherever they go!

For a Dirty 30 Birthday Bash: 30th Birthday Can Coolers

You don’t have to worry about cracking open a cold one when you have these insulated can sleeves. Not only will they stop the chill from numbing your fingers, but they’ll also keep the beer nice and frosty inside of the aluminum.

Additionally, they come in a pack of 12, so the entire party can use them. Your toast to the birthday boy will have a dozen cans clanking together with the words “30 Years and Countless Beers.”

When They’re Feeling Like Green Eggs and Ham: You’re Only Old Once! Dr. Seuss Book

Dr. Seuss has a book for every occasion, including the inexorable passage of time. You’re Only Old Once!: A Book for Obsolete Children has all of the drawings and rhyming couplets that you’d expect from a children’s book, but instead of counting fish or looking at cats in hats, you’re following the journey of a senior citizen as he attempts to get some pills from his doctor.

Give it to your very best friend and say, “I love you. Here’s a glimpse of your future.”

For the Morning After the Party: The Hungover Cookbook

There’s nothing like a turbulent stomach and a pounding head to wake you up after a 30th birthday party. With this gift, however, you can anticipate their hangover and help them fix it before it turns into a “hugging the toilet” kind of morning.

The Hangover Cookbook is filled with recipes, remedies, stories, jokes and painful-but-funny anecdotes that will let them know they’re in good company whenever they suffer.

A Gift for Perverts: Blow Me 30th Birthday T-Shirt

Everyone has that one buddy with a sense of humor that would scandalize their grandmother, and if you’re looking for a 30th birthday gift that embodies their funny, risque humor, you’ve just found it. The text says “Blow Me, It’s My Birthday” with a picture of 30th birthday candles.

It’s definitely not appropriate for the office, but the best presents rarely are!

For Aging With Aplomb: Not a Day Over Fabulous Coffee Mug

While not meant specifically for 30 year olds, this mug has a universal message for people who are getting older. It says “Not a Day Over Fabulous” with glittering gold text on a pink-and-white background.

The mug is ceramic, but it has a swirled marble finish that will give it an extra sprinkle of style, especially when you throw in its golden stirring spoon and silk-lined gift box. There’s even a matching lid! If you’re looking for a luxurious gift for a luxurious lady, this coffee mug will make her feel like a queen with every sip.

For Taco Tuesdays: Beware of the Force Boxers for Men

Have you noticed that his flatulence gets worse and worse with each passing year? It’s a sign of him becoming an old man, and while there’s not much that you can do to stop it, you can at least poke fun at it.

These boxers are Star Wars themed, and they say “Beware of the Force” right where the spaceship’s exhaust system would expel its gas. Good luck, brave warrior. Survive the onslaught however you can.

To Complement Her Birthday Suit: Gray is the New Blonde Thong Panties

You wouldn’t want to give this to a co-worker, but if you have a girlfriend or best friend who wouldn’t be offended by an R-rated present, it will certainly get a shriek. It’s a pair of cotton thong panties that say “Gray is the New Blonde,” and despite the fact that they’re poking fun at her age, they’re so soft and comfortable that they might just become a staple of her wardrobe.

To Make Their Coffee Great Again: 30th Birthday Donald Trump Mug

Political gifts can be hit or miss, but when they’re this funny, they’ll bring together people from every party. Even if your gift recipient isn’t a Trump supporter, it’ll be hard not to laugh at a cartoon version of him with two thumbs up: “You are a great 30 year old.

Really terrific. So very smart. Really fantastic. Other 30-year-old? Loser! Disasters! Everyone agrees. Believe me.”

For Parties, Sleepovers and Bachelorette Bashes: Talk Thirty To Me Stemless Wine Glass

This fun and flirty wine glass can be brought out for all kinds of special occasions. It says “Talk Thirty to Me” with a coquettish lipstick print, and it can hold up to 15 ounces of wine, champagne, cabernet or any other bubbly concoction that she likes to drink.

Buy one for a friend; buy a dozen for a bridal shower or birthday gathering. Despite their sleek and modern design, they’re totally safe for dishwashers, so they’ll be convenient, versatile wine glasses to add to her collection.

If They Need Help Finding Their Zen Place: Let That S**t Go Hanging Wall Art

Birthdays can be stressful, especially milestone birthdays like the 30th. Help them relax with a hanging tapestry that combines humor and spirituality. There’s a picture of a real yogi in a meditative pose, but his message is “Let That S**t Go,” which is a little more blunt than what you’ll find in most self-help workshops.

He can decorate any wall or window, and since he’s adorning a durable, high-quality fabric, he’ll be offering his zen for years to come.

To Rub It In: Good News/Bad News 30th Birthday Card

Are they turning 30 before you? Get in one last laugh before your own birthday with this customizable card. It says “Bad News: You’re 30. Good News: I’m F**king Not.” The inside is blank, so you can write whatever messages that you’d like, and the material is a thick and durable card stock that won’t feel like a cheap gag gift.

It’s more like a fun novelty item. Give it to your BFF, watch them open it and duck before they can hit you!

To Turn the Next Page of Their Life: Chapter 30 T-Shirt

Sweet and sentimental, this shirt is printed with a heart-shaped balloon and the words “Chapter 30.” Your gift recipient doesn’t even need to be a bookworm to appreciate it, but bibliophiles will probably get an extra kick out of it.

It can be ordered in multiple colors, including red, blue, purple, green and black, and its sizes range from small to XXXL. When it gets dirty, just toss it in the washing machine on a cold cycle.

For the Math Geek: Square Root 30th Birthday Coffee Mug

If they get excited about equations like other people get excited about $100 bills, this is the gift for them. It’s a simple ceramic coffee mug, but it asks you to compute the square root of 900. The answer, of course, is 30.

It’ll be a cute little gift for mathematicians, engineers, accountants and anyone else who works with numbers. It could also be a pointed gift for that friend who always forgets how to count when it’s time to divide the dinner bill!

To Share a Little Wisdom: Age Is Like Underwear Sticker

There are plenty of age-related bumper stickers out there, but if they’re joking about a specific age or calendar year, they have an expiration date. A better alternative is this sticker that says “Age Is Like Underwear: It Creeps Up On You.

” It’s funny because it’s true, and since it’s nonspecific in regards to birthdays, it can spend years on a car, window, laptop case or any other flat surface.

When She’s Still Fit and Fabulous: Women’s 30th Birthday Gift Tank Top

“D*** I Make 30 Look Good.” If you know someone who laughs in the face of gray hair, this is the tank top for them. Its racerback design will hold firm while running, jogging and lifting, but it’s also made with a lightweight polyester/cotton blend that won’t soak up sweat whenever its wearer hits the gym.

It’s perfect for someone who isn’t going to let their age slow them down when it comes to their fitness goals.

When They’re Turning Into Their Parents: How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man

Are they getting crankier by the day? Have they started to complain about aches, pains, technological developments and teenagers cutting across their yard? If so, it might be time to give them How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man.

It’s a fun collection of stories and jokes, but there are some genuine words of caution that they can take to heart as well. There’s also a companion book, How Not to Become a Little Old Lady, for female folks.

When They Need Their Caffeine: 30th Birthday Double Insulated Stainless Steel Tumbler

Birthdays happen to the best of us, but if you know someone who’s able to laugh at themselves as they get older, they might enjoy this 30th birthday tumbler. It says “30! How The F*** Did That Happen?” with a cheeky censorship bar over the curse word that doesn’t actually cover it.

It’s also a well-made tumbler, so it isn’t just a gag gift; it has vacuum insulated walls and an airtight, spill-free lid, making it perfect for people who like to drink their coffee on the go.

A Sensitive, Thoughtful Gift for a Good Friend: Holy Crap You’re Old Toilet Paper

If you’re the type of friend who expresses your love by giving them a lot of s**t, this is the gift for you. It’s literally a gift for s**t! While it uses a poop emoji in place of an actual curse word, its message is clear.

It’s also a genuine roll of toilet paper that they can use in the bathroom, so it isn’t just a gag gift; it’s soft, two-ply paper that will be biodegradable within septic tanks.

To Say Goodbye to an Era: Your Twenties Have Expired Guest Book

You’re throwing an epic birthday party. You’ve already purchased cakes, hats, balloons and other party paraphernalia. But what about a guestbook? Instead of the usual black-and-white journal, get a fun one specifically for a 30th birthday.

For example, this guestbook says “I Regret To Inform You But Your Twenties Have Expired,” and it comes with more than 100 pages for messages and mementos from loved ones. It can serve as both a guestbook and a keepsake after the party is over.

For Little Siblings: “I Forgive You for Being Younger Than Me” Wine Tumbler

If they’re getting older but are still younger than you, this wine tumbler is a sparkly way to express your passive-aggressive feelings about it. It says “I Forgive You For Being Younger Than Me” in white text on a glittering pink background.

Despite its delicate appearance, it’s made with unbreakable stainless steel, and it has insulated, vacuum-sealed walls to maintain the temperature of hot and cold beverages. It’ll be perfect for everything from wines to juices.

To Tell It Like It Is: I’m Sorry You’re Old Coffee Mug

This plain white coffee mug is printed with equally plain text: “I’m Sorry You’re Old.” A smaller message is tucked inside: “That’s All.” It’s a completely plain-faced and straightforward joke, and that’s why it will make them burst into laughter.

They’re a senior citizen now, and they should know it before they check their 30-year-old self into a nursing home.

I’ll Be There For You: Friends-Inspired 30th Birthday T-Shirt

If they can quote Ross and Rachel more than they can quote Nelson Mandela, this is a present that will send them right to 90 Bedford Street. It says “The One Where I Turn 30” with the iconic colored dots that make up the Friends logo.

In addition to being a fun, retro-style tee, it’ll also remind them that the gang was in their 30s as well, and just look at all of the adventures they had!

For the Eternal Teenager: 15 Twice Journal

Another great gift for busy people, this journal can bring a little organization into a chaotic existence. It measures 6 x 9 inches, so it can be slipped into any purse or backpack, and it comes with both lined and unlined pages for writing, drawing, doodling and list-making.

It’s also designed for 30 year olds specifically: The front cover says “So Happy I’m 15 Twice.”

When He’s Loud and Proud About His Age: Men’s “This Guy Is Officially 30” T-Shirt

This quirky t-shirt will officially declare his age for the world, so if he isn’t bothered by the fact that he’s entered his third decade, make it a part of his everyday wardrobe. It gives his age and two thumbs up that point to his own chest, so it isn’t subtle in the slightest.

Who has two thumbs and is 30 years old? It’s this guy!

To Soothe Those Arthritic Joints: Old As F**k Bath Bombs

If their bones have started to creak whenever it’s cold outside, you can provide some relief with these Old As F**k bath bombs. Despite their name, they’re regular bath bombs, so they’ll offer all of the usual colors and fragrances during a hot soak.

They’ll just be a funny gag gift for a friend at the same time. Maybe they can create the fountain of youth in their bathtub!

When They’re Turning Into a Cranky Old Person: Have a Great Day Middle Finger Ceramic Cup

At first glance, there’s nothing unusual about this ceramic cup. It even says “Have a Great Day” for any friends or colleagues passing by. It’s only when the drinker takes a swig of their coffee that the real message comes out: a middle finger.

It’s printed on the bottom of the mug, so it’s completely hidden until the drinker decides to flip the bird to that annoying co-worker or in-law!

To Cheer Them Up: You Are F**king Awesome: Coloring Book for Adults

If they’re a little bummed about turning 30, this coloring book can provide some funny, foul-mouthed motivation for getting out of their slump and living their best life. Filled with affirmations like “Shake That S**t Off” and “Rise and F**king Grind Sunshine,” it’s goofy enough to be a gag gift but serious enough to be a positive self-help tool.

Who cares if they’re turning 30? They’re still just as f**king awesome as they were yesterday.